Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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