Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
