She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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