I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
