Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is my gift to your gina
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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