Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
