ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
