I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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