and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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