dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
