dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
