I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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