he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
