So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Drake has all the answers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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