Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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