I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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