i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
