im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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