Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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