but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
