in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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