I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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