I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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