I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Mom said you looked used
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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