i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Ladies don't puke and tell
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize