if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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