I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
