We're facebook friends in real life
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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