what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
50% drunk capacity currently
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
