I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Text me some of your sweat
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize