You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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