connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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