cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
