i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
