Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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