Dual....:-)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize