oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
