ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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