so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
