Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My penis needs a shock collar
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
