as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
