omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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