By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
where are my eyebrows?
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