His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
