we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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