Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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