But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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