Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize