If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize