so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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