just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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