Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize