ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We had to coat check the pizza.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
