he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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