We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
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