just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
