That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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