I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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