I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
