i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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