you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
