Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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