Are we in a gay sports bar?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
