I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
